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The last three hours spent engrossed in sound representational painting- in silence, alone- are worth the whole of the season.
As I'd hoped when I started, solid work eventually brought me a better equilibrium, and began to renew a sense of purpose and identity that have been getting chewed around the edges and spat out these last months.
In this vein, it wouldn't be a bad idea --and timely!-- to get back some WELLBEING, both physical and mental because :-
This year's ("inevitable") resumption of smoking and subs (doubtless leading on from renewal of social activity, ho hum) have doubtless accumulated enough to undermine even my excellent constitution;
OVER-frequent @-use (+ other contributory factors!) CAN jangle nerves, XS imagination AND other bona fida flake-factors. This is typical @-psychosis. NEGATIVE Instances arising are hostile subliminary images, claustrophobia +, and panic attacks as well as their obverse,-- minutely rationalised 'fears'; all are more or less contrary to cool running, but sure make for an interesting ride.
However, these are mainly transitory conditions arising from sleep deprivation and strained nerves.
Its an ongoing and acute over-awareness of cruelty to people and to animals that I'll be starting sessions with an NHS psychiatrist for, early in the new year. This has caused long-term distress and MUST be alleviated.
NB I set up standing orders to animal aids and Amnesty International (ie very small, conscience-money ) so there's NO further reason for me to glance at details. (1 glance = nightful of conjecture).
Lastly, ( NB You, Sally! ) : -
The fact that I presently feel that I am 'absolutely committed' to going to a club tonight* (and all that entails) is breathtakingly absurd.
Autonomy huh?
WAKE UP and turn this situation around!
*substitute any and all variables
Ms Screw-Loose
As I'd hoped when I started, solid work eventually brought me a better equilibrium, and began to renew a sense of purpose and identity that have been getting chewed around the edges and spat out these last months.
In this vein, it wouldn't be a bad idea --and timely!-- to get back some WELLBEING, both physical and mental because :-
This year's ("inevitable") resumption of smoking and subs (doubtless leading on from renewal of social activity, ho hum) have doubtless accumulated enough to undermine even my excellent constitution;
OVER-frequent @-use (+ other contributory factors!) CAN jangle nerves, XS imagination AND other bona fida flake-factors. This is typical @-psychosis. NEGATIVE Instances arising are hostile subliminary images, claustrophobia +, and panic attacks as well as their obverse,-- minutely rationalised 'fears'; all are more or less contrary to cool running, but sure make for an interesting ride.
However, these are mainly transitory conditions arising from sleep deprivation and strained nerves.
Its an ongoing and acute over-awareness of cruelty to people and to animals that I'll be starting sessions with an NHS psychiatrist for, early in the new year. This has caused long-term distress and MUST be alleviated.
NB I set up standing orders to animal aids and Amnesty International (ie very small, conscience-money ) so there's NO further reason for me to glance at details. (1 glance = nightful of conjecture).
Lastly, ( NB You, Sally! ) : -
The fact that I presently feel that I am 'absolutely committed' to going to a club tonight* (and all that entails) is breathtakingly absurd.
Autonomy huh?
WAKE UP and turn this situation around!
*substitute any and all variables
Ms Screw-Loose
