sally_point_zero | Mar. 19th, 2009

I've been thinking myself down from a claustrophobia attack and now, hopefully, I'm typing myself out of it. Actually, i never thought I'd say it but Thank God fr LJ!
This attack was just ASKING to happen -- since the tropics I've been sleeping with the window SHUT and lately my flat is in a complete jumble because I've gone DIY bonkers way beyond repainting.
If I cannot see a clear way to a quick exit I'm in the danger zone.
I woke up suddenly and there was a large old lady in the black room. She was singing to the tune of Coronation Street in an deep over-sentimental music-hall voice. I couldn't breathe properly, there wasn't enough air but I was too scared to get out of bed and I thought of all the furniture and jumble crowding down the hallway and overhead.
Obviously I'm now out of that room and in front of my mac but I am very shaky. Sometimes I think my life seems to be half the time a battle against being scared, but this is pretty bad.
To think myself out of it and stop from rushing down to the street I am listing all the serious injuries I've experienced. Here are some:
left side of face gashed open exposing cheekbone- surgery left ear severed, reconnection surgery (fell headlong on broken porcelain) ; left clavicle broken (still disunited but best to leave) THAT was from a claustrophobia panic attack, rushing outdoors) right hand smashed, 4 fingers severed and re-stitched/knuckles rebuilt using titanium screws; left arm broken in 3 places;
OK that's enough, that isn't helping.
Uploading photos of the stuff piled up here -- face the fear!
--its kinda annoying that the things that scare the living DAYLIGHTS outta me seem not to be particularly scary to other people : (

: (((((((((((((
Now I'm going to concentrate on the DIY book I found (the little swine!) and read about tiling. I know it seems a bit daft to entertain the notion of FURTHER DIY but its the most steadying thing i can think of.
NB no i don't bloody watch coronation street! gah